The dialogue of my inhabitants
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✴︎ The dialogue of my inhabitants ✴︎
(Apr. 2025 / Canvas paper SM / watercolor, color pencils)
—there are tiny creatures living inside my body and mind. For a long time, I feared them. I called them parasites, saw them as dark, unwanted guests, feeding on my light. I’ve tried to ignore them, punch them, take away their power, even kill them, just tried so hard to make them go away. But lately… I’m tired of fighting against them bc they are really persistent n fierce haha.
And I’ve been wondering. What if they’re not here to hurt me, but to help me grow? What if I let them be? Is it possible to just observe them and maybe nurture them even?
Sometimes I feel too much that I see myself as one of them—a parasite living on Earth, consuming what I can’t give back. When that happens, I know it’s bc something cosmic is in motion and I need to ride that wave—too vast for me to understand, but not beyond my soul’s knowing or my body’s feeling.. Maybe these inhabitants are guiding me, in their own strange way, towards this hectic but yet beautiful transformation.
This overwhelming experience has been like a storm of voices between my spirit and the weirdos that dwell within me. Two very different beings, trying to find the middle ground, trying to learn how to share this one planet called me, so this planet can get back on the orbit.
Some of these internal experiences are just so overwhelming and I can’t help but feel drained while it’s happening, but yeah I’m starting to appreciate the wholesomeness of this entire process and choosing to allow myself being as I be.
皮膚より内側に棲む存在達が全身あちこちでザワついてて。その会話に耳を傾けてたら、色々見つけた。いつだって、自分の中にいる者たちは敵なはずがなかった！
どれを主観として選ぶかは意識が決めれる。そして決めないで、スクリーンを見るように眺めることもどうやらできるみたい。
「私」を構成する存在たち、意識の私、それを大きく包み込む存在、共生したい、ちょうどいいところが見つかるまで観察観察
